I think life sometimes has a funny way of challenging us in ways that we don’t always expect. I’ve honestly been thinking about writing this post for a while, but I wasn’t sure how to accurately do that.

As the people closest to me know, I started having some serious health concerns while I was in the U.K. What I first thought was stress and exhaustion turned into losing clumps of hair, joint and muscle pain, and extreme fatigue (just to name a few things!). Luckily, I had access to wonderful (and free!) healthcare while I was working at the school, but we could not figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me.

So there I was, supposed to be forming a community with all of my girls, when all I could do after Christmas was go to the doctor and try to rest as much as I could. I had never felt more defeated. I wasn’t getting better, and even after dozens of tests (I once counted nine vials of blood being taken out at a time!), my doctors had no idea what was going on.

But here’s the cool part- even through all of that, I was still able to form bonds with my community, though it was in the most unexpected ways. My girls- yes, I was best friends and lived with 50 teenagers- showed me how caring they could be. They researched and looked up home remedies for my issues, even though I tried my best to hide it. I still get teary thinking about the hot water bottles, cups of tea, and cheese toasties I was given to lift my spirits. My coworkers were patient with me, and Rev forced me to go rest even when I wanted to work.

You know that saying ‘God works in mysterious ways’? Even though I hate to admit it, I think that it’s true. He taught me how to rest, how to rely on others, and how to ask for help. I saw His love through acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. Even though I wasn’t ‘healed,’ I was still able to speak truth, even from my ‘granny chair.’ I still shared tears and belly-laughs. I still met amazing people, some who have impacted me forever. I still met the love of my life (even though that was NOT planned AT ALL).

So this is not a pity party post (even though that’s a great alliteration). This is to hopefully be an encouragement to people, and to raise awareness for ‘invisible illnesses.’

Shortly after returning to the States, I was diagnosed with Lupus. It was a hard pill to swallow (no pun intended) when I learned that this was going to be a life-long journey for me, and that there was no easy fix. I still wrestle with that on hard days, if I’m being honest. I’m so blessed that I’m still able to work full time and have a productive life, with a few modifications.

So, even though I was thrown through a ‘loop,’ (Do you get the pun now?), I was also given unexpected blessings. Count it all joy, friends.

Okay, that’s all for now! Please message me if you can relate, or you have any questions.

Be a good human.

P.S: If you’d like to know more about Lupus, here is a really great link: https://www.cdc.gov/lupus/index.htm

And here are some memes, just because I’m feeling generous: https://themighty.com/2018/02/autoimmune-disease-memes/